The "Blaming Game"!

Author: Ms. Bernadette Canero

VP and COO of Summit VA Solutions and VAST Marketing

If things don't work out for you, what is your thought process?

Unfortunately, for most people, their minds consider blaming others first before themselves. You see pronouns like you and they used in one's personal downfall.

I think this comes from the fact that if not for our reflections, we don't really see ourselves. You see everything around you, but if you don't purposely look at your reflection, you will not see you.

This is sad because in as much as we lack self-awareness, we don't have a shortage of opinions made of others. We see everyone except ourselves. What we forget is that if we really want to learn and grow, self-awareness and reflection are critical when it comes to our success.

You may be part of a learning team, but the actual learning is up to you as an individual. The team may give you everything they know, but to play your part well, absorbing and retention for application and effective implementation all fall on you. No matter the opportunity, your success is your responsibility. Blaming others for your failure is the worst that you can do to yourself because you will never learn.

Other people cannot learn for you. Others cannot perform for you. Other people cannot grow for you. Others cannot succeed for you.

Do yourself a favor! Don't just rely on others' feedback to know how far you have come as a person and as a team member. Don't rely solely on what others have to say to know how you can improve and grow. Be self-aware first, and then use their feedback later as reference on how to move forward. As long as you're being honest about it, the best person to give you feedback and assessment is you. Look at yourself in the mirror! Know yourself. See yourself. Be honest about it. Assess your growth, effectiveness, and performance before you ask for others' opinions.

Before you help others, help yourself. Before you rely on others, rely on yourself. Before you list expectations from others, know what you expect from yourself. Before you micromanage others, micromanage yourself.

Before you blame others???

Let me put it this way, if you want to play the blaming game, face the mirror and take a second to point that finger at your reflection first. Judge yourself before you pass judgment on others.

Remember, you are where you are because of decisions you made, work you did, and actions you took.